Trip to China

Courtesy of Wikipedia

On the date of our first anniversary, Elli and I will be on a plane to China. We are going with a group of teachers to experience and find out more about how the Chinese education system works. Our destination is Luzhou in Sichuan province. We fly direct to Chengdu from Heathrow.

With the media going on about how amazing Chinese maths teaching is, it will be interesting to see where the dividing line is between truth and spin, and see first hand what is replicable back home here and what is not.

Will also try and wangle some business class seats, at least for our flight out... :-)

We're back on 14 Apr.

Our problem is that we are far too easily pleased...

“Man cannot live without joy; therefore, when he is deprived of true spiritual joys it is necessary that he become addicted to carnal pleasures.”

Read more here.

An International Comedian on the British

It's always fascinating to see what foreign comedians make of us.  Here is the "German Comedy Ambassador" Hemming Wehn making fun of the very people he is performing to! I can't work out if the laughs are comfortable or not - I certainly think he fires some home truth at us! Indeed, is the fact that they are laughing a peculiar British response?

Warning - contains some offensive language.

Lent: Preparing the Soil of the Heart for Fresh Seed and Rain

Whilst the 24/7 "always on" principle may work for certain types of businesses and services, it isn't one that is good for the soul as it can leave us feeling disconnected, distant and without any real sense of the passing of time.

Back in Genesis 1, on day four, God created the sun, moon and stars as signs to govern "days and seasons." There's nothing here about creation being the same 24/7 all year round - life is liturgical, it's about rhythm and repetition and growth. The word we have translated as "signs" (yowm) in Gen 1:14 is particularly related to sacred time / religious festivals. (e.g. yowm kippur - the day of atonement). Israel ran on a lunar calendar and God told them that they were to set their religious festivals by that lunar calendar "The Lord’s Passover begins at twilight on the fourteenth day of the first month..." (Lev.23:5) etc.

This is why, for many centuries across the world, the church has observed Lent. Forty days of humbling and self denial. Like a farmer turning the soil, ready for the new plantings, Lent is a season for preparing the heart, with no obvious benefit, to receive again the message and the power of that first resurrection morning.  It's nothing to do with superstition or ritual, it's because God has made us rhythmic (liturgical) creatures.

Yesterday, many friends of mine ran the Reading half marathon. They went in to strict training, so that they would know the joy of crossing the finishing line and accomplishing something meaningful for them. There was no moral requirement for them to do it, but they chose endure the pain of training for the joy of victory in running. Those who watched from the sidelines will no doubt have felt a good vibe from the event, but spectating is nothing like taking part.

Lent is like this, there is no moral compulsion for us, but, if done with a right heart, then after the humbling and self-denial there is joy and gladness! Watching someone else do it, is nothing like taking part yourself. So some pointers...

1. Give up something meaningful that creates time in your day e.g. social media, TV (maybe all  TV or just a particular programme e.g Eastenders), a sport that you do, a meal.
2. Give up something that may have come to have more of a hold on you than is good. e.g. coffee, wine, beer, chocolate, cheese, meat etc
3. Use the time / cravings created by what you have given up to drive you to bible meditation, prayer (a great resource is here if you want it) and serving others in all the spheres God has given you influence.
4. Time with God costs you nothing financially, why not use any money saved from all that booze and those chocolate bars and mocha-choca-frappacino thingamajigs for blessing someone in need.

I am always humbled by small Muslim kids who will fast food and water for Ramadan especially when it takes place as it does, this year in July when the hours of daylight are LONG!! I have so much more to be thankful for - so much more to gain and yet so often I am so dull of heart to get going.

May God make us valiant and courageous, for indeed, these are strange days we live in.

On Baptism in Water and the Spirit

One of the convictions about the Bible that has slowly solidified in my heart over the years is that if you cannot clearly ground a New Testament teaching in the story and/or imagery of the Old Testament then you are barking up the wrong tree and need to start again. If it isn't clearly foreshadowed in the Old Testament then, however fashionable it may be in the modern church, it is at best misguided and at worst heretical.

Now of course, my last paragraph could sound like overweening arrogance, I don't mean it to be. I don't have all the answers to complex theological question, but I do believe deeply that this is the standard to apply to any aspect of church teaching (doctrine) or church life (ecclesiology).

Take the controversial baptism of the Holy Spirit - to put it simply, conservatives say he is given fully at conversion, charismatics say he comes fully with the laying on of hands after conversion / water baptism.

So which is it?

The New Testament describes believers as, amongst other things, a royal priesthood (1Pet.2:8). In order to understand that term, we need to know how the Bible defines it, and there is very little on it in the New Testament, but plenty about it in the Old, so it is to the Old we go.

In Leviticus 8 God gives instructions to Moses as to how Aaron and his sons are to be ordained as priests in the service of God.

Lots of symbolism goes on with Aaron being set apart as high priest (see similarities with Jesus own baptism in Matt.3), but cutting a long story short, first they are all washed Lev.8:6...

Then Moses brought Aaron and his sons forward and washed them with water...

Then they are all anointed (v30) with  special oil that is strictly forbidden to be used in any other context except the ministry of the priesthood (Ex.30:22-33).  To anoint anyone else with this oil was punishable by death / banishment...

...Then Moses took some of the anointing oil and some of the blood from the altar and sprinkled them on Aaron and his garments and on his sons and their garments. So he consecrated Aaron and his garments and his sons and their garments.

Setting these men apart for service to God happens in two distinct stages (hooray for charismatic position and boo to the conservative position), but those two stages happen at the same time, (hooray for conservative position and boo to the charismatic position).

If Leviticus 8 is the starting paradigm, then I don't get why many conservatives don't lay hands on Christians after they have been baptised in water and pray for them to receive the Spirit. It feels like they publicly testify to half of the Spirit's work.

Equally, I don't understand why many charismatics seem happy after baptism in water to allow new Christians to wander around in what they would consider a spiritual wilderness for a couple of weeks (or perhaps months or even years) before suddenly announcing in a meeting that they need to be baptised in the Spirit by the laying on of hands. It seems like an unnecessary (unbiblical?) delay. Imagine Moses sending Aaron and his sons away after washing, telling them that at some point in the future, at his convenience, he will call them back again and anoint them.  Why wait? The apostles didn't. As soon as they heard of the "unfinished business," they were quick to rectify it, Acts 19:1-5. (Note to those who think about these things, I therefore think that the book of Acts is both prescriptive and descriptive.)

Now, if one were to adopt a position that feels a bit more like an echo of Leviticus 8 then, there are two obvious and opposite dangers to avoid:

1. Clearly the whole thing could become a ritualistic "batch" process where we go through the motions and don't expect the Spirit to take hold of someone and give them a life changing experience - and besides that kind of thing can be messy and awkward especially when we want to get home and eat lunch / dinner / supper / watch TV / check social media etc!
2. Praying for someone to receive the Spirit after they have come out of the water and when everyone's eyes are boring into them could be a terrifying prospect for some and a devastating prospect for others if the Spirit doesn't appear to come to them at that moment in the way they hoped he would. However, he is not a spell or formula and he comes and ministers as he sees fit. Whilst I see no reason why he would not want to bless the person in question, we can never assume his motives for him.

Both these pitfalls need to be handled with great wisdom and sensitivity for the sake of the whole body of Christ.

A final thought...

God has also placed this "Leviticus-8-ordination-of-the-priesthood" paradigm at the heart of our daily rhythms. Most of us, every day, before going out to work or at the very least, before going to a special occasion - like a wedding feast (Rev.19:7-8), wash ourselves with soap and shampoo etc then and anoint ourselves with deodorant, perfume/after shave etc.

This too is a (daily) echo of both our once for all salvation and our day by day dependence on the risen Christ and his Spirit - to confess our sins (1Jn.1:8-10) to hear and receive again the eternal word of  the cleansing Christ and to be clothed with his anointed power to live the Godly life (Eph. 5:18).

Inside Mecca - A Fascinating Insight into Muslim Pilgrimage

I can't remember if I've posted it before, but this documentary is a fascinating insight into what goes on during Muslim Hajj (pilgrimage) - probably the largest single annual mass participation event on the planet. And it can help you understand some of the Old Testament rituals in a new way. For example, the Kabbah in Mecca is the representative of the house of Allah. In the Old Testament, the Tabernacle, Temple is representative of Heaven - the house of Yahweh (Hebrews 9).

RFC Marrieds on Singleness Survey

Another enormous post. Brace yourself...

What was the best thing about being single?

• Man speaking: Fun and freedom and enjoying the company of many girls.
• Free time was my time!
• Decision making flexibility in scheduling and activities
• Having more 'free' time to spend how I liked and with a range of people. I think I had a lot more time for friends because once you're married a lot of that time is spent with your partner. Being more flexible.
• Having good times with friends. Having more time to have to yourself for chilling or quiet times with God.
• You can do what you want when you want with no one else to take into consideration. You can spend your money how you'd like to and treat yourself without feeling guilty. You can spend more time with your friends. You spend a lot less time doing housework and boring "running a family" chores.
• Not having to worry about how selfish you were
• One of the best things was living with other guys of a similar age.
• Wasting away the hours playing computer games ... hang on ... maybe that wasn't so great after all
• Not answerable for how I spent money and more male attention.
• Being able to change my plans after stating them, without being held to them.
• Not being accountable in actions or decisions
• Spontaneity
• You can be as selfish with your time as you see fit- be social and polite or just not enter communal living.
• I have some awesome friends from uni, when I was single, who really are friends for life, and there when I need them. I was able to cultivate deep friendships with people.

What was the hardest thing about being single?

• Underlying pressure to chat a girl up to get a girlfriend and knowing I wasn't very good at it !
• No sex, even if there was opportunity.
• Uncertainty
• The desire to not be single!
• lack of romance no children
• I was blessed to meet my husband very young so didn't have any real battles.
• Living a holy life (with regard to lust and sexual purity)
• Sometimes feeling that I didn't have any one special person who I was very close to. And now that I'm married I think it would be very hard to go back to living as a single person, I think I would probably find it quite lonely, although that isn't always solved by being married and people can still feel alone.
• Always feeling under pressure to meet someone
• Living at home.
• The desire to want to share life with someone. The trips home to see family where everyone in my family is married...and questions why you are not married!
• Purity!
• Tried and failed relationships - high emotional cost of break ups
• Feeling left out, because we live in a such a "coupley" society - i.e. dinner parties etc. Lonely, not having someone to share all your experiences and thoughts with.
• Being single-the fact that in our society single is only one part of the process to getting married.
• Having to spend time in your own company when you really wanted to be spending times with others
• Not knowing if/when I would find a partner
• As someone who really enjoys the companionship of being married, looking back it was difficult when I didn't have one person who I could share everything with and work together with.
• House sharing
• Not having someone to share special occasions with, not knowing that I would one day meet someone
• Less physical affection...wondering if I would get married/have kids.
• Insularity, loneliness.
• At times severe feelings of loneliness
• lack of companionship
• Wanting to be in a meaningful relationship.
• Loneliness
• Flipside of being alone- being lonely- not always having someone to share life with- the +ve and the -ve
• Missing Companionship
• Sometimes being lonely. Being married is a big deal in church life so being single can be made to seem like a lesser status.
• Sexual purity
• Not being the most important person to anyone. Having crushes on people who weren't interested, people having a crush on me, and not being interested, lost a couple of friends that way. Pastors making such a big deal about it!!!

Is there anything you feel you have "lost" since getting married? 
(Edited)

• Me time. Early on I felt I lost out socially with friends who weren't married. Didn't feel as free to join them when they went to pub or clubs.
• No
• Time alone
• Making decisions by myself knowing the outcome would just affect me.
• I often feel like a mother first, a wife second, and "me" third. I know this is the wrong way round!
• Perhaps a sense of freedom. Sometimes I feel restricted in how I can spend my time and have to take into account expectations from a Husband, although occasionally I can feel encouraged to do something I might not have tried or had the confidence to do on my own - so I guess people could feel more free.
• Can't think of any thing at all, we were engaged when I was 17 and all I ever wanted was to be married.
• On reflection, 2 things, a less close relationship with girlfriends due to not seeing them as often, and secondly time for chill alone, which is not a big loss.
• Having my own personal space to think - a personal (bed)room.
• Part of myself, because you become more like the person you married, partly to please them, partly because it makes life easier. This can be a good thing too though as you learn from one another.
• Independence
• Not hugely, but sometimes I feel a loss of being able to make quick decisions on certain things. It can take a lot longer to make a decision these days as I have to consider someone else.
• the duvet, clothes space & ability to decide my own bed time
• Probably less disciplined in quiet times and prayer (contrary to what I would've expected!)
• Spontaneity
• I think initially it was hard to become a "couple" and be seen as such- but that transition worked through before marriage in some ways.
• A tidy house!
• Definitely not.
• not really, I got married when 23, straight from uni, so we started adult working life together, and have grown up as adults together.

If you had your time as a single person again is there anything you would do differently? If so, what?
(Edited)

• Sought older role models for discipleship to help me mature.
• No
• Stop worrying!
• Embrace life rather than dwell on wanting to not be single.
• Embrace the independence and try not to fear the future. I look back now and see that worrying about the future stopped me from enjoying the time.
• I would make better use of my time.
• Not really, I was quite happy being single. Although I would encourage others to make the most of living with other friends where possible.
• I would love to have been a Christian when single
• Move out to a flat or shared house.
• Wait patiently, trusting God more.
• Spend less time looking for a good husband and more time training to be a good wife. To honour the men I dated better and cause them less pain.
• I would probably looked at joining groups for example art classes
• I would love to have been more content with my life as a single person and not been anxious about if/when that would change. Not sure that I would automatically be any better at that if I was single again though!
• After breaking up with a girlfriend there was often not that much time before I started to pursue another girl. I would have like to have enjoyed my time without having a girlfriend more and attempted to be more content.
• I would prepare for marriage better
• Not really - I felt a sense of Gods purpose and timing in my singleness. Although getting married and having kids were idols for me if I'm really honest
• Pray more for my future husband.
• Travel back overseas, probably somewhere sub-tropical, but this time, south of the Equator; making no long term destination plans.
• Get married sooner! :-)
• I would try to view it more as a positive season sand make the most of the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives.
• save up financially
• I wonder- if I was suddenly independent now- life and priorities would be different but that is because of what has gone before, which I would not want to change at all.
• Get to Know God more, build myself up more, not worry about half the things I once worried about.
• Being more aware of the consequences of actions further down the line. (sorry for the vagueness)

What positive habits / attitudes did you cultivate in the singleness season which have reaped a blessing for you now that you are married?
(Edited)

• Spontaneous. Fun.
• Purity in relation to my friends and a driven-ness to love and honour God's ways. Consequently, I have no regrets, baggage or the like to deal with.
• Friendship, tidiness
• Spending time with other families/married couples who were older than me who have been a good example to follow.
• some focus & self control
• Being clear that God is in control.
• These are hard questions... I guess just living the way you think God wants you to so that then when you get married you can hopefully carry on living that way. Not waiting to get married and thinking that will solve a lot of your problems.
• none seem to be very negative habits.
• Living with other singles and growing in hospitality, and learning to share life closely with them helps with moving in together when married.
• Praying for my spouse
• A dependence on God for intimacy, knowing that he knows me best
• Spending time with God. Spending money sensibly. Serving at church. Became strong, confident and secure in myself - great thing to bring into a relationship.
• Caring for others
• It was an opportunity to practice trusting in God and his providence. This has helped when on occasion I have felt let down by my spouse - as no spouse can ever fulfil all that we need!
• Being interested in people and seeking to put others first.
• patience and honesty, being accountable and truthfull with a friend / friends before being married and then doing so with my wife
• regular prayer & worship, routine & self-discipline
• Serving, trusting God for his timing, house sharing was great preparation for living with a spouse!
• Spending time with married couple and families who were open.
• Trustworthiness; reputation for it.
• politeness, tidiness, thoughtfulness
• I spent a lot of time with God, including fasting and spending large periods of time focussed on him. This solid foundation has helped now that our circumstances mean that I don't have so much time.
• Not sleeping around
• Being part of a community. Living in a shared house- having a group of close Christian friends of both sexes. It was a great way to learn communication and grace and forgiveness and joy (not perhaps always in that order! They were a great blessing!
• Knowing who I am and not needing people to validate everything I do. Having passion and drive to be better.
• An ability to be self-sufficient which helps... It is never healthy to be too reliant on another person. Even in a marriage I think it is good to maintain your own interests, friends etc as well as jointly.
• Learning how to trust God with everyday living.
• Having travelled and done a gap year before getting married, I didn't change my plans because I was no longer single, and we still make sure we both have time to follow our own interests and do things independently.

What negative habits / attitudes did grew up in the singleness season which have painful for you to undo now that you're married?
(Edited)

• I didn't really mature or grow up. Didn't have a job. Hadn't lived alone, except uni. Little life experience. Etc.
• Nothing painful or which needed undoing, but one negative thing which happened a bit in my earlier teens before becoming a Christian was looking at boys mags with school friends. The images I saw will always be there but have now been replaced with an even better image, the delight of seeing my wife (I'm biased!).
• Drinking
• Selfish attitude to time and money
• self sufficiency
• Worrying about the future and looking to the next thing instead of enjoying the present.
• Allowing my thoughts to wander where they ought not to.
• Not sure... I'm not sure it's a habit but once married I think I became a lot more open than I had been previously. Perhaps it would have been helpful to have been more open with others before being married too? But I guess having someone supportive you can be open with and trust builds confidence to be more open with others.
• Very possessive of my girl friend even when we were first married, with a great fear of rejection, which was hard to get release from.
• Sin with others in past relationships before becoming a Christian.
• Independent mind set, wanting to spend my own money how I want, making my own decisions, managing my own time.
• I'm quite controlling and like to just get on and make decisions and do stuff - not good in marriage - you always have to stop and consider the other person, ask if it's OK and shall we do it? etc Huge independence - not helpful once married.
• Spending money on yourself
• sharing my time
• A certain amount of selfishness and liking things done my way had to change when I got married but I think this is likely to be the case for many!
• purity issues, lust, selfishness that I never really understood the extent of until I was married
• Lust & being used to going to sleep with the radio on
• An unhealthy emphasis on a husband to fulfil my needs. Should've have relied on God more.
• Political stubbornness: Left of right-wing tendencies compared with wife's socialism; no meeting ground at that point.
• Independence, false strength, enjoying my own company
• over-reaction
• I was obsessively tidy, which cannot be easily maintained with others around.
• Being so independent.
• Liking things my own way and wanting my husband to do things the way I like them to be done!
• Being selfish with material things
• not sure, can't remember if any, too long ago....

Is there anything you wish you had known about married life as a single person before you got there?
(Edited)

• It's ok to argue in a marriage. Healthy conflict is good.
• It takes effort and commitment to work as you want it to (which is not all the time), but it's worth it!
• You have to work hard at married life...it's not as easy as it sometimes looks!
• I used to look at married women with children and think they had "made it" and must be so fulfilled and have everything sorted. Now I see that's really not the case and wonder if single girls ever look at me and think the same.
• How to make 'joint' decisions in a sensible and satisfactory way.
• I don't think I appreciated until I was married the level of influence that the other person can have on you. I think you choose by marrying to let them have the greatest influence on you and will probably naturally become more like them... so pick someone you like :) Also their attitude towards you and the world will probably have a massive effect on how you see yourself and the world around.
• Wish the marriage prep course had been available then would have been a great help
• Honestly no..or not yet.marriage prep as time to ask openly was v helpful.
• That it is not always as hard as people tell you it will be!
• I think I was prepared as well as possible by the church and the support of friends and family
• There seemed to be a lot of focus on how difficult marriage can be when I was leading up to getting married which was really helpful to hear. But this was almost at the expense of hearing how good it can be. Perhaps married people feel bad about saying that marriage is great because they might get labled a smug married!
• It takes more work than you would think. When you are single you have so much free time (that you won't have when you are married, particularly once you have had kids!)
• How to listen and empathise better
• The extent to which you have to trust someone else with your life/well being
• Love hurts
• :) no- the fun is in the growing and learning and being together.
• That it really matters who you marry, and I married a great guy for which I am thankful to God everyday. Marriage is a huge commitment but for me, it's not as hard as people sometimes make it seem. For me that's a blessing.
• How your relationship will change as you age and the seasons of your life change. Even though marriage is incredibly tough at times it is still better to be with your soul mate than on your own!
• Hard to say as everything changed all at once for me, marriage, work, relocate. I think I wish I didn't think I knew all the answers as a student, I know now how much I don't know, and I am much happier as a result, much easier to trust God and your partner when you don't think you have the answer all the time.