Standing at the Dusk of 2008

This little montage shows a snapshot of most (although not all) the people who have, at some point in 2008, been part of the same mid-week small group as me. (Yes I have their permission post their photos on a public site, but because the blog-o-sphere is full of nutters and weirdo(e?)s, I won't introduce you to them here.

Just before Christmas, we had our last get together of 2008.

I love those meetings, and I love these people! Amongst other things that evening, we each had to give a word that summed up our 2008. Cheesy and predictable I know, as well as notoriously hard if you want to be objective!

Moments like those are special because in a small group like ours, a ramshackle bunch of people who's lives wouldn't ordinarily meet, not only meet, but share their hearts and lives and grow in their knowledge and love of Jesus together. I love these guys and I heartily look forward to doing 2009 with many of them!

So what were the words?  They can tell you theirs if you know them.  That is not for me to share.

The word I used to sum up my year was openness-vulnerability-honesty (yes I know that is three, but if you know me you'll also know that limiting myself to 3 is actually quite an achievement in the best sense!) - to the Living God and to people.

There are many things that have happened this year which have brought joy and satisfaction.

There are others that have brought pain and frustration. Whether it has been my falling short of others expectations of me or disappointments handed to me by life. Whether it has been wondering if I really have what it takes or wanting others to think that I do! The temptation in those moments has been to run back to my cave and do some long sitting.

I am by no means perfected... yet! Part of the process in getting there is being humble enough to sit in the light, even when what it shows up ain't that pretty and (because I'm proud) makes me want to squirm for Britain. Yet paradoxically, and nasty as it feels, it is testimony that I am truly alive. and that God in his grace, as given by awesome Jesus, is working in me.  To put it another way: dead men don't appreciate open heart surgery.  

That fact in and of itself, inspires my heart to humble, joyful worship of the one who loved me and gave himself for me and so I rise and press on in faith!